W h i s p e r s of the F o r e s t
by Kintora
Summary: When her village is attacked, Kaya escapes to the lands of the West where she hopes she will find her brother. Will Kaya finally reveal her dark past after Ashitaka's absence? Can a certain wolf god give her the love she tries so hard to avoid? AS, K?.
1. Journey

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_**-Whispers of the Forest-**_

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Author: Kintora

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My eyes snapped open wide as I sprang to my feet. It was still dark, though the cold awareness that something was amiss ran strong in my body. I felt weary to the bone from my light sleep, but adrenaline coursed within my flesh like a cold fire. There were yells that echoed in the night outside my hut in the Emishi village.

I lived alone ever since my older brother left. My parents both died of grief. I'm a hopeless girl…. I tried to save them, help them recover. But their will to live, died selfishly for the loss of their only son. They had no heart for their daughter I suppose.

I was up and dressing as fast I could. It was an attire much like the one I wore when Ashitaka was still around though I was now an eighteen-year-old girl. It was easy to move in and easy to slip on. From the noise outside, they'd need as many able-bodied people to fight as possible.

My teeth ground together as I tied my sash around my waist and searched for my wakizashi in the semi-darkness. My deft fingers took the leather string from where I held it between my teeth and wrapped my hair into a quick half-ponytail. I grabbed my bow and arrows and brushed the straw-matted doorway to the side.

The village was in havoc. Our peaceful lives were ruined now. Fire engulfed a few homes a little ways away from my own and I dashed out to meet the cause along with the other villagers that were scrambling to protect our village.

I sensed something headed my way and I grabbed my weapon from my sash and chopped it short before it made contact with my face. It was an enemy arrow. Through the blazing heat and light, I could tell its unfamiliarity from the way the feathers shone red and black on the ground from where the borken pieces lay.

I ducked as another came my way and dodged again and again. I was quick in the skills of fighting and survival though I was girl. But one skimmed by and cut my cheek slightly. I gritted my teeth and hid behind a hut as the attacks ceased to follow me in particular. I observed the battle with quick eyes from where I stood with tense anticipation. The enemies were but shadows of humanoid figures against the fiery blazes, but everything about them screamed inhuman. In the dark, I could see the silhouettes of their flattened pointy ears on the sides of their heads.

These beastly attackers were of the tiger clan under Lord Torayama. I flinched as I heard a heart wrenching cry of a woman nearby and bawling of a child for its mother and father. I was about to spring back into the havoc to give whatever help I could when I felt the warm touch of a human hand on my shoulder.

I spun around to look into the old eyes of the village wise woman. Why had she not fled? What was she doing here?

"Kaya, leave while you can. These beasts will not let down upon our people and you will not be spared."

Her words chilled me, but I remained where I stood, "You know I can't. I must defend our people. I cannot leave while this rages on!"

The elderly wise woman peered into my soul without change on her facial features. Her wrinkled lips moved softly as she spoke to me, "There's no choice, child. Leave, and if to your heart's desire, seek help for our village. But for now, you must contemplate on how to escape a fate not befitted for your destiny."

"My destiny?" My fears left me briefly as my face changed into that of a gapping fool's, "You know what will happened to me?"

She nodded calmly and the blazing of the fire in our ruined village gleamed on her old face, "Head for the West, my princess. There, you may find what you wish to find."

"What I wish to find?"

I bit back a shriek as the ground below me shook violently and an earsplitting bang resounded within the area as flocks of birds within the forest screeched and took flight. I covered my face and fell to my feet from the explosion nearby as the wind whipped my face and snagged at my clothes.

As soon as I could I looked for the wise woman. I found her on the ground beside me. I dragged her frail old body against myself to support her. There was a nasty gash on her head from where she fell and blood poured from her wounds. Her breath was quick and labored and her eyes mere slits as they looked up at me.

"Kaya, take this pouch. Inside are my divination stones and your brother's hair. Those items shall lead you on your way. Trust in the forest to protect you, and have faith in yourself. Don't lose your… way, … dear princess… of the Emishi tribe…"

The wise woman's breath ceased and her sightless eyes stared blankly up at the dawning of the sky. Right before she died, her hand clasped over mine and in her hand was the deerskin pouch as promised.

I held the tiny bag and her hand for a brief moment saying a silent prayer to the gods. The dwindling warmth in her hand began to dissipate as I let it go to close her eyes against the sad sight of our once peaceful little village.

The battle cries and fighting brought me back to the present. I stuffed the pouch into my haori to put it away quickly. I drew my wakizashi from its sheath once more as I fled to the animal house some ways away to find my elk friend, Kiba.

Somehow, many of the animals were still there and Kiba waited for me patiently as I cut his tether from the post. I put away my weapon and urged Kiba to come out of his stall. I could tell he was uneasy, but I also knew he trusted me. He was Yakkul's younger brother and so I've known him for a long time. He knew I was in an urgent predicament at the moment and obeyed my hushed commands.

I mounted him quickly and silently as he started out of the stables and onto the grassy path towards the woods. We made it out well enough, but when we were almost in the forest, an arrow whizzed by followed by another and another and more. The wind blew against us, but Kiba was faster and we were out of their range in no time. I didn't even get to look back.

I shoved away the sounds and cries of my village and the people that I've known all my life. I focused on remaining my thoughts upon the task ahead. I will find help. And right now I wished to find help from my long lost brother. I had a gut feeling that he was alive.

I was off to find Ashitaka. Finally, after the seven years he had left with my crystal dagger.

With all my spirit, I hope he had not forgotten the village.

I hope he had not forgotten me, his little sister.

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A/N: Hope you all like my first Mononoke Hime fic. : ) I know I get sidetracked a lot on the stories I write, but it all happens on the course of my inspiration. But when I say that I promise to finish a story, I keep to that promise no matter how long.

Please be patient with me at times!

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	2. Dream

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_**-Whispers of the Forest-**_

_**Chapter 2**_

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Author: Kintora

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It was well into the late evening when my eyes started drooping. The cold-fire had long since cooled itself in my body and left my energy sapped to its thinnest. My muscles were still cramping from having been so taught and tense and the sharp pain in my shoulder from when I had hit the ground during the explosion had reduced to a dull throb. I hadn't even realized that I had been injured in that last round of attacks until now.

I rubbed my eyes wearily as I fought to stay awake. The awareness of my balance was also being lulled to a faint submission as I began to rock on Kiba's back. Luckily, Kiba had decided to slow his pace once we surpassed the boundaries of our home forest. He was probably tired too, but I also knew he was trying to keep me from falling off of him.

Kiba was now my only friend left. I don't know how Yukiya and Chizuru are doing now. I dare not even think if both of them are still alive and managing for I don't want to have my dwindling hopes shattered if I do find out the truth.

I daren't even think about the village right now. All I want to do is plan my journey and what I would do after I sought out the help I needed. The first thing I will do, would be to track down Torayama and his pathetic minions and rip their sharp little ears off one by one.

Their crimes were so great against my people. Even I hold strong and personal grudges against them. Well, that was a large understatement to say the least. I shuddered angrily for a moment as my mind retraced the memories that I hope I didn't have to keep.

Yes, they did more to me than my youth could bear.

First, I need to sleep. The intense will to sleep was not my own, but I was already becoming prey to its heavy welcoming.

My forehead accidentally knocked against Kiba's thick-furry neck. I groaned quietly, dwelling in my misery as I snapped myself upright again. Kiba snorted, halting in his tracks and I slammed into him again. This time, I didn't even bother to sit up so I lay sprawled where I was against his back. I was falling asleep anyway.

Kiba sniffed the air and found his way to a tiny fresh spring where he lowered himself to the ground. The sun had already faded into the distance of the horizon, splashing its dark but striking splash of colors against the canvas of the star-speckled sky. The wind picked up and swirled the black silhouettes of this unfamiliar and shadowed forest.

I slid from Kiba's back and huddled against his thick hide for warmth. The night would be cold and I would probably get very sick if my elk-friend had not been with me.

The image of my kind older brother flashed before my closed eyes. I choked, stifling the dry sob that was brewing within my chest that came from the empty hole where my heart should have been.

Ashitaka had always kept me warm on cold nights before he left. I had been very little and very prone to the chill of night back then. My brother had the warmest scent and the most comforting embrace than anyone I've ever known. He would wrap an arm around me and bundle me with as many fur covers that he could spare. Then we would talk quietly so as not to wake up mother and father. After a few bouts of jokes and stories, I would always be the first to sleep, and I knew Ashitaka had always watched over me as I slept soundly into the night.

My cheek felt warm and moist when I opened my eyes again. I had let a few tears seep from the restrains of my self-control. It even left a small wet watery patch against Kiba's strong fur-covered flank, but he didn't seem to mind. He just turned his great antlered-head to look at me before settling down again. I snuggled closer to him and fell asleep.

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My dreams were cruel. I remembered the screams of the unknown woman and the high-pitched cry of the child. This time, I was no longer the strong independent warrior that had headed into the fiery fury. I seemed so much smaller and many times more vulnerable and confused. My own cries mingled with that of the child and woman along with more screams of other villagers.

I cried, stretching out a hand and running forward, calling for my mother, father and brother. I stood alone in the fire, my face and hands getting scorched in the blazing heat of the fiery nest that surrounded me.

I was all alone. No one would come for me. It would definitely not be my parents. But not even Ashitaka came bursting into the scene like he did the last time he fought that awful boar demon.

Ashitaka! BROTHER! Someone! Somebody help me!

I wanted so badly to call for help. I never want to be alone again. The wise woman's docile voice echoed in my ear, "Head for the West, my princess… You may find what you wish to find."

Where was the West? All I see is fire. Where is West? Where IS the WEST! Brother! Show me where you are! ASHITAKA! Don't leave me alone!

In a split moment, I saw a glimpse of a mystical and enchanting forest with the clearest pools of purifying water that I had ever seen. I saw the powerful but graceful movements of giant silver paws and the flash of a jaw full of snowy white teeth that were shaped hazardly into ferocious canines. And I saw a violet crystal dagger with the finer streaks of blue and red chipped in. It had been so long, but I could recognize my dagger anywhere!

But heat billowed into my face and I felt myself slip away from the confusion.

The last I saw was the sightless hollow gaze of the dead old woman. And I swore I saw them stare sullenly at me.

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I screamed as I woke up into a startled fit.

I realized that it had only been Kiba's hot breath in my face after I woke up. I relaxed again against the ground where I had moved during the night.

My arms pushed me up into a sitting position as I wiped the dripping sweat on my chin with the back of my hand. My breath came in short raspy gasps, the realness of the nightmare still following me even though I was awake.

Kiba had found his way closer to the spring and now he stood in the pooling water, drinking its cold richness to his deep content. I had barely acknowledged the spring the night before, but now I watched as the mesmerizing water trickle down in a rivulet over a jutted rock.

I was just about to get a drink when I heard a twig snap behind and I whirled around with my hand grasped tightly around the hilt of my wakizashi. I sighed when I saw a squirrel scurry by under the brushes before disappearing all together. I narrowed my eyes and glanced over at Kiba. He hadn't even looked up from his long drink and merely flapped a tired ear in my direction.

Sighing, I stumbled over to the water and Kiba came up beside me. I held onto his thick neck as I tested the depth and formation of the rocks beneath me. Letting go and allowing the small cool waterfall run its course over my head and body was a blessing.

I drank deeply from the falling water before searching myself for a leather water canteen that I usually brought with me everywhere. Luckily, I found it and collected as much water that I deemed would be enough for a few days and would also be convenient to carry.

I wondered idly as to how long it'd be till I'd find Ashitaka. Part of me doubted that he was even alive. My memories brought me to a moment of contemplation as I thought of that ugly gnawed wound that my brother had sported on his right arm. I saw the pain in his eyes and his strained expression as he fought the urge to cry out in his misery. I knew shouldn't have been thinking that way. He had to be alive. Ashitaka was never one to disappointment. He had to be alive. I love my brother too much to let him go.

Stepping out of the fresh spring, I squeezed access water from my hair and shook it. Swiping the dark wet locks from where they clung to my face, I prepared for the journey ahead.

Setting my eyes ahead, I knew I had to follow the direction to the West. I had a good feeling where it would be. I clasped a shaky hand to the folds of fabric where my obi sash pressed against my haori. I felt the lump where I stuffed the leather pouch and felt prickling shudder arise in me.

I will find my brother. And I WILL go back to avenge the village. For the people. For the wise-woman, for Chizuru and Yukiya. For my home, for my family.

And for myself. I would not fail.

Wait up, Brother. I'm coming.

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A/N: Sorry about the wait guys. This was a more informative chapter than anything, focusing on Kaya's thoughts and feelings. I'm planning to make the next chapter more action packed. :)

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A/N: Sometimes I find that not getting to know my readers is not fair, and vise versa. :3 You don't need to contribute an answer to the "Question of the Chapter" excerpt. It's just for fun and it's definitely optional:D

_**Question of the Chapter:**_

**Q: What do you do in your free time?**

My Reply: That's a bit hard to answer. To sum it up, I write, draw, read, and watch different things. The majority's made of pretty much anything related to anime, manga, Ghibli-related films. I also write original fiction and poetry. :) Of course, my free time doesn't always contain only those things. I do active activities as well. I don't like to sit on my butt all day! Everything's just a sum up though! So I do many other activities as well:D

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	3. Forests

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_**-Whispers of the Forest-**_

_**Chapter 3**_

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Author: Kintora

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_**((Previously))**_

_I wondered idly as to how long it'd be till I'd find Ashitaka. Part of me doubted that he was even alive. My memories brought me to a moment of contemplation as I thought of that ugly gnawed wound that my brother had sported on his right arm. I saw the pain in his eyes and his strained expression as he fought the urge to cry out in his misery. I knew shouldn't have been thinking that way. He had to be alive. Ashitaka was never one to disappointment. He had to be alive. I love my brother too much to let him go._

_Stepping out of the fresh spring, I squeezed access water from my hair and shook it. Swiping the dark wet locks from where they clung to my face, I prepared for the journey ahead._

_Setting my eyes ahead, I knew I had to follow the direction to the West. I had a good feeling where it would be. I clasped a shaky hand to the folds of fabric where my obi sash pressed against my haori. I felt the lump where I stuffed the leather pouch and felt prickling shudder arise in me._

_I will find my brother. And I WILL go back to avenge the village. For the people. For the wise-woman, for Chizuru and Yukiya. For my home, for my family._

_And for myself. I would not fail._

_Wait up, Brother. I'm coming._

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Over mountains and valleys, I crossed dipping rivers and overgrown fields. The sky usually remained blue with a few wispy looking clouds on most days, but in this spring season, the sky was just brewing for rain some time soon.

I passed some small and remote villages for food along the way – passing myself as a young boy on some pilgrimage. I have to say, I was quite proud of myself, and held my head high. For that, the people I met seemed to hold mutual respect for me, not asking many questions.

These days were still dangerous though. Rogue samurai wandered as much as thieves did so I never let anything suspicious pass without my knowledge. Sometimes, Kiba and I were tailed, but followers who meant to kill us really weren't a problem as long as nobody on horseback came after us. Even so, I would have been confident enough to slay him without a single regret.

The journey was long, possibly eight moons or so have already passed and nearing the second cycle. I was running out of my second sack of rice and oats as we headed further southwest. The night was creeping in on the two of us when we finally decided to stop by a cliff side to rest. Well, Kiba just stopped in his tracks and wouldn't move when I asked him to. So I hopped off his back and gently led my friend towards some forest coverage to wait out the night.

Somehow, this forest reeked of the unknown. The smell was totally different and the animals seemed more intelligent. I had a lot of trouble hunting, and had settled on provisions for the night. Something great lived on these lands, and doubted that whoever it was is human. I fed Kiba some oats and dried rice, but ignored putting up a fire for us. I had a feeling that tonight, we wouldn't want to be discovered less we wanted to stir trouble. I popped some oats in my mouth and ripped off some dried meat as well, hoping it would suffice the grumbling in my stomach.

My body had grown thinner than it was before due to some insomnia and malnutrition, but it wasn't something I could help much. I chewed solemnly as I dwelled in my thoughts. We were getting closer with each passing league – I could feel it. I just wished I knew where to stop.

The moon rose slowly into the ink-like sky and cast its pale light into the forest around us. Nightlife chirped and warbled as I kept my ears open for any disturbances. Nevertheless, Kiba and I settled down on a cool dry patch. There was just enough room to fit the two of us.

I leaned back into his warm furry hide, rising and falling gently with his every breath. He snorted when I ruffled the fur on his neck affectionately. My friend only turned his large antlered-head and nipped my hair softly, making me laugh a little, reminding me why I called him Kiba those many years ago. The name just kind of stuck.

Kiba had long since rested his head by my side and gone into a light slumber by the time I pulled the leather pouch from my haori. I could see its faint outline from the pale light filtering through the brush and trees above. The texture was so real to the touch; I couldn't help but cringe in awareness. This journey was real, no joke. I've always dreamed of going out on my own to search for Ashitaka – but not like this.

But if – but when I did find him, what would I say? What would I do? Onii-sama, I beg you to come back? Did he want to return? Would he return? Even though he was all but forgotten by the mind, but remembered by the hearts of our people, didn't the rules state that he must not return? I could still remember my impulsive younger self, chasing after him in the dark on the night of his departure. I told him I didn't think much about the rules back then.

And here I was, worrying about the laws of our home village now.

I smiled impishly to myself rolling the stones in the small pouch back and forth between my fingers. What a long way I've come these past seven years. Though seven years doesn't sound that long to most people, the distance I forced between myself and my past was so vast, I could hardly see across the gap anymore. I no longer remembered the love of a real family, or at least, it was probably tucked somewhere deep in me where I couldn't reach. Sometimes, the lack of family bothered me when I actually thought about it.

I pulled out the silky locks of my brother's hair from the pouch. The wise woman had done well threading the hair with a blue colored ribbon into a thick braid. It held well and didn't separate as I played with it in my hands. Males in our village never cut their hair, so it was odd for me to be holding Ashitaka's. But at the same time, I felt at ease keeping something of his.

The pouch was put back into the folds of my haori as I shuffled onto my side, patting Kiba's furry shoulder. He flapped an ear at me in his sleep, but didn't wake up. I breathed in his heavy scent and reminded myself to find us both a place to bathe. I smelled my own shoulder, picking out some detestable odors as well. Passing as a boy, I could do, but that didn't require me to smell like one.

Clutching the thick brown braid in my hand to my chest, I fell asleep against the breathing pelt of my warm furry friend.

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Dawn struck earlier than I would have liked. For once, I had not fallen into a nightmare of any sort. In fact, I don't think I dreamed at all. At least there were none that I could recall. Remembering to get going again, I double-checked that we were good to go, standing as Kiba straightened up on his four legs beside me.

He shook the morning dew from his coat, spraying bright water gems in every direction. I shied away, my arms shielding my face as I glared at him when he got me wetter than I already was. He snorted shaking his head as he turned away from my accusing gaze.

I ignored his gruff mannerism this morning and placed a hand on his neck to get his attention again. "You ready to find Ashitaka, Kiba?" I asked quietly, my voice husky from both sleep and scarce use. I asked him this every morning and received the usual light bump to my cheek from his wet nose. I grinned, already feeling better as I got him walking.

We walked towards the path along the cliff side and I had to stop to marvel at the sight beyond the massive, jutted drop. The pass gave me a clear view of the rising sun coming up from behind the mountains and pouring light into the shadows left by the night. The cobalt sky cast shy hues of pink and yellow, and towards the northwest, it hinted at moving patches of clouds, pregnant with promised rain. The forest seemed tired, but became more and more awake as birds began to sing in the distance from the dark forest below. My eyes scanned the horizon, absorbing the scenery of the morning mists rising only to disappear above the forest foliage.

I didn't wait until the sun was completely up though. We left no later than a few moments – I just couldn't stay in one place for very long it seemed. Remembering my thoughts last night about a shower, we continued down the mountain path. I almost missed the river right below the cliff because the distance and white mists hid it well. Hopefully, finding our way down wouldn't prove to be very difficult or long. Our heavy smells were really driving me nuts.

After an hour or two, the sun had risen but kept hiding away in the darkening clouds. I frowned at this. I was irked that today wouldn't be the greatest bathing day, but that wasn't what concerned me. Kiba and I had to find flatter ground and fast. The steep rocks and dirt weren't going to help us once the rain began to fall.

We needed speed and having walked two hours by myself was enough I decided. I pulled myself onto Kiba's back with ease, not even having to break his light stride. Man, I was getting good at this. My heels nudged his sides very slightly and he didn't need any second commands to gallop down hill.

My face twisted uncomfortably though as I tried to keep from bouncing around on his back. My womanly time of the month had come a day or two ago and had made me considerably irritable, but Kiba acknowledged it and didn't give me any trouble to complicate my mood swings. Still, I just couldn't wait until we found that river to wash off what I could. I grimaced unpleasantly.

Lucky me though, Kiba slowed his gait. I could hear the river now and feel the cool vapor it was giving off as it kissed my face, even though we were still distance from the rocky shoreline. But Kiba headed farther down instead of straight towards it. I was about to guide him towards the river when I spotted what he saw. It was a decent sized pool of running water which made its trail from up the mountain and down towards the river.

I patted Kiba's neck appreciatively as I climbed carefully back down, holding my lower tummy. A shock of pain throbbed there and I groaned uncomfortably. I was one of those girls who had killer cramps when their time came. The cold made it especially painful, but I was hopeful. It would be better in a day or two. Still, I tried not to think about how long it sounded at the moment.

The bordering plant foliage helped with the privacy though I doubted any human would wander upon me as I bathed. Maybe the occasional frog or newt, but that didn't worry me. Kiba waited patiently as I took the remainder of our food from his back and set it in a small hollow below the gnarly roots of a tree right next to the pool.

I shrugged off my dark clothes as well, rolling the small pouch with the stones and Ashitaka's hair up in my clothes next to the food to keep them as dry as possible. Kiba trotted right into the water, dipping his head in and then out before turning to see if I would follow. I pulled off my under garments and made a face before walking into the running water to stand next to Kiba.

I washed out the blood from the cloth in my hands and wrung it as best I could before setting it aside. Then I took a deep breath and dunked my whole body into the water, head and all. My shoulder-length dark hair fluttered around my face and neck as I sat in a ball along the sides of the small pool. I could see Kiba's legs in the clear, but shady water. I knew I wasn't too far away.

My eyes blinked blearily in the bitingly chill water, trying to adjust to the cold temperature so that it wouldn't feel like my eyeballs would freeze out of my sockets. I hugged myself to keep the little body heat I had and sunk into my thoughts. Why did my mind have to be so bogged down? It was almost impossible to relax.

My mind felt heavy with decisions and confusion as I thought silently in the soothing depths of the running spring. I had no home now, not unless I found a way to gain it back. I knew I could, I had to. Maybe it wasn't just Ashitaka's help I needed. I should enlist more people and get people to follow me. I fought down a snort to avoid drowning in the water.

I don't believe I've ever heard of a woman leading any group of people. Well, besides the wise woman, but that didn't really count as leading. She was the spiritual guidance and religious authority I suppose, but my village mainly counted on the village's male elders. They held the leadership pedestal. Or at least, they used to.

The water began to ripple unevenly. For a moment, I thought it was because I was becoming too light-headed under water. But it turned out that that wasn't the case. Kiba wasn't moving either; his four orange furred legs were still. I looked up and saw that the uneven rippling was due to the rain pelting patterns onto the water's surface.

I stood, bursting through the surface of the water. I gasped in deep breaths, my chest heaving out as I threw my head back to look at the gray, raining sky. I felt the raindrops land in my mouth, and I tasted their fresh flavor. The heady rain blurred my vision, but I didn't care. It hid my tears well, even though Kiba and I were the only ones present.

The rain slid down the sides of my face, down my neck, dripping over my small pouting chest, streaming down the contours of my curved hips into the spring. It felt like gentle fingers tracing soothing patterns into my rugged thoughts and easing the strain from my muscles. Each liquid touch followed one path after the other in a continuous, non-stop act of comfort down my pallid body. It felt so very good.

Suddenly I straightened, all good feelings forgotten as I felt as if I was being watched. Kiba seemed to feel it too as he stood rigid and ready for anything, his sharp antlers lowered and his orange ears flattened against his head. Elks would usually flee in the face of danger, but Kiba had a belligerent attitude about him that set him apart from the rest of his kind, even from the gentle Yakkul.

Unconsciously, my arms had crossed over my breasts, hiding them from anyone who might see. My hair plastered against my neck and face as I heavily trudged my way to the water edge. I pulled the under garments up and between my wet, slender legs, securing them around my thin hips quickly. I snatched my clothes from underneath the tree roots, not caring if they got wet.

I dressed in record time as Kiba got out of the water cautiously. Making sure my pouch was stuffed snugly in my haori and that the food was secured to Kiba's side, I mounted him and got him to hurry away towards the river. I was hoping to cross it so whatever hading been watching us wouldn't follow in fear of revealing itself.

Kiba went down the steep path and stumbled slightly onto the rocks beside the river. I pat his neck to remind him to be careful. The current seemed much swifter than before, but I didn't feel safe on this bank. I don't think Kiba did either for he started to cross the river without a command from me. He nodded his great head back towards me, warning me to hold on tight.

I looped my arms firmly around his thick furry neck, trusting him to move carefully, though I was afraid that the water would be too fast, too deep, and too dangerous even for him. Maybe I should have looked closer for somewhere safer to cross, but now that we were in, I couldn't get us out.

A sudden rush of the water current gave us some trouble bracing against it, and my stomach dropped when I saw our food bag loosen. I reach over suddenly on impulse to snatch it back, but it was swept quickly away. That was when it all started to go very wrong.

I must have slipped off of Kiba's back from the rain that slicked his fur as I plunged into the cold, greedy grasp of the river. My frightened scream was cut short as I was sucked under. The river was extremely deep and angry as it tugged me in different directions. I couldn't see Kiba when I surfaced for hard won air, but I could hear the stressed sounds he was making from a distance.

The river pushed me up and down as I slammed into some large slippery rocks along the way. My head reeled painfully, almost felt like it would crack when it hit against one of the black, menacing rocks. I don't know how long I was struggling when I felt something sharp grab my shoulder. I screamed again, more so from pain rather than fright as I tried to struggle against whatever monstrosity had me now.

"_Don't move_," a voice deep and sonorous told me. I could feel an internal rumbling from it, like a low growl warning me from doing anything stupid. The water and rain blurred my vision, but I kept my body still as I was painfully dragged from the river by something very, very strong and unrelenting.

My heart was going at a thousand leagues a minute as I breathed in and out sharply. Once it let me go, I flopped onto the cold wet ground, holding my injured shoulder and trying to blink the excess water from my eyes. I think I heard a familiar trot of hooves nearby, as a guttural snarl ripped through the presence of whatever was beside me. I heard the pawing of hooves in the mud and I turned to see Kiba's grayish form not too far away, his sharp antlers lowered in the same fashion as before.

"_Your elk looks like a good meal, a tough young buck_," the deep voice rumbled through the loud pattering of rain.

I grimaced, "No, Kiba…" I gripped my shoulder fighting back a cry of pain, "Get out of here…"

The unearthly sonorous voice laughed, "_He's a loyal pet, isn't he? I don't seem to be scaring him away._"

I sat up, using my good arm to support me. I squinted at the large form beside me. "Wha… W-who are y-you?" I chattered uncontrollably, "W-Why…?"

The face of the being moved in closer. No… it was a snout. It was a very big silver snout, which looked very white against the background of gray. OH… but gods, I could forget those huge teeth grinning almost menacingly at me. I looked into those fiercely intelligent amber eyes flecked with pure gold, and I had to look away. This was not happening. I was not seeing a giant wolf.

But the giant silver paws didn't help as he moved to stand before my curled form. He sniffed my face and I had to fight the impulse to shrink away. I didn't want to offend this beast-god. He asked me in that same unearthly voice, "_You're not hurt too bad are you?_"

"N-no." Why was it I couldn't get a grip on my aching, shuddering body? Actually I did hurt very badly. I don't think I can even stand, but "no" seemed to a lot easier to say at this point.

"_Get on my back._"

My hand automatically gripped my wakizashi though it was more of a saber rattling. I did not mean to pull out the blade, unless I was absolutely forced to. And thankfully, it had not parted from me when I was in the water. Part of the warrior spirit in me revived when I suddenly realized that I was getting pushed around. Beast-god, or no Beast-god, … no **male** was going to boss me around.

"Why?" My voice came out gruffer than I expected.

The white wolf laughed, "_Do you want to die?_"

"I can fight, you kn-know?" I griped. I hated the stuttering, but I got my point across it seemed. I couldn't tell whether the grimace in his muzzle or the curl of his black lip meant if he was angry or amused. But suddenly a large shudder struck my body, though I think it was more from the cold than anything else.

After the uncontrollable shivering bout, I hung my head, clutching the lump in my haori where I kept the little pouch. My head was swimming and I didn't know what to do about it. I didn't know what to do about anything now. I willed Kiba to get away if he hadn't already. I was worried that my fate would fall onto him as well.

My head doubled in pain like someone had taken a hammer and chisel to it for their own sick pleasure. Unable to stand the nausea, I slumped to the ground, completely drained of energy though my heart still pounded with the fight in me. I could feel something warm leaking above my ear. The smell… it was blood, my blood. It stuck my hair together and trickled endlessly, diluting into pink streams from the pattering rain.

The darkness began to seep in, blinding me even though I fought it back as best I could. What I couldn't fight was the beast pulling me onto its broad-muscled, sweltering silver back. I couldn't move. I didn't know where he was taking my weakened body.

The last thing I heard was Kiba's hooves following close by, and my own inner voice telling me that I would live through tomorrow.

………

The fire was so hot. My hands were getting charred and I couldn't seem to move. I recognized this scene. I saw it almost every night. It was the village burning, the woman screaming, the child crying. I couldn't close my eyes to this horrific sight and I wanted to scream with them all, even though I couldn't find my voice.

The face of my smiling parents burned to ashes in the illusion of the fire. I saw my brother in the distance, leading Yakkul toward the small road that led to the outside of the village. He turned back to look at me, his face masked. He pulled the mask under his chin and gave me a smile.

I felt tears in my eyes when I saw him. But I knew he was leaving too. He was turning his back on me, on the village – the burning village. No, he can't go. Mother and Father were gone for so long now. He was all I had left. I didn't even have a home anymore. Everyone had left my side.

'Onii-sama… don't go…'

But he kept walking away, the flame swallowing in his wake. Did he not see me? Did he not see how I was suffering and how everybody was dying? Turn back…

'Turn back.' I wanted to say.

I seemed to have found my lips again, my eyes burning, "Onii-sama, turn back."

I seemed to fall onto the ground, though I couldn't feel anything beneath me. The wise woman's face loomed into view, her dead, sullen eyes stared into mine. Her parted mouth seemed to say something, but I missed it. I was too frightened to register anything, yet I couldn't seem to look away. Her breath was soft on my face, but it was sweltering hot. So hot.

I wanted Ashitaka to come back. He always knew what to do. When he left he was only seventeen, but he always knew what to do. Wise beyond his years, people used to say. Was my brother ever coming back?

"'Nii-chan…" I slurred, my eyes suddenly blind. I squeezed them and groaned, pulling out of my nightmares and becoming more awake every second.

"_San, she's waking up._" I thought I heard that voice before, but it sounded a little deeper than it was before, until I realized that it wasn't the same wolf speaking, "_She has very quiet nightmares. Not a single scream. A lot like him, don't you think?_"

A pair of very quiet feet walked towards me. They were so quiet I might not have heard them if I wasn't lying down on something flat and soft. Most likely animal fur, I decided. Someone sat down beside me and felt my forehead, and I had to bite down from crying out at the coldness of the touch.

"She's really burning up," I heard a woman say. Her voice was quiet, but I detected a hidden edge of some sort there, like she was one of both pride and assurance.

When I finally managed to force my eyes open, she confirmed my thoughts. Her face was fine-boned and attractive. And she had a way of holding her slight shoulders in a manner that told me she was had as much hidden strength as a lithe willow in the wind. I couldn't tell what she was wearing since my concentration was very muddled.

However, there were more pressing matters at the moment. I felt uneasy. Where was I? Where had that…Beast-god taken me? Who was this woman? What exactly… happened? I looked around with fever-bright eyes, forcing them away from the woman and around a mellow looking cave room. Where was Kiba?

I fumbled weakly at my side, half-trying to sit up and half-trying to find my wakizashi. I couldn't make up my mind on doing one or the other, and that was probably why I failed in both. My chest heaved painfully as I tried again, but the cold hand that pressed against my bare shoulder stopped me, "You really shouldn't push yourself. Lay down and stay still until you get better."

I knew I could hardly move my limbs, "No, I can't… I need to find…" I struggled with and managed to shift under the covers. But I stilled very quickly. I could only feel my undergarments on, but the rest of me was stark naked! "Where are my clothes?" I slurred unhelpfully.

"_San_," I heard the familiar voice of the wolf I met at the river, "_She's not going to still._" For some reason, a part of me was grateful that I knew at least one person… or beast in the room.

The woman named San spoke, her voice evident with disapproval, "I know. We might as well ask what she's doing here."

I knew what I was doing before. I had a mission and I couldn't just lie around and play damsel. I'm not one of those stupid girls in those dumb romance stories I used to love hearing about. I struggled to collect my strength. I was going to get up whether they wanted me to or not – or whether my body wanted to or not. I was going to complete what I came all the way here for.

I forced myself up and almost fell back if I hadn't caught myself. I gripped the cover to my chest as I sat, catching my breath. I squinted through the darkness of the cave. My voice rasped harshly to whoever would be listening, "I need… to find my brother." I winced and felt uselessly under the cover for my little leather pouch, "Please, I need his help. Let me go… Let me go find him."

I felt all their penetrating gazes on me, and suddenly I felt even more naked. But I was going to stand firm with my decision. While Ashitaka was known for his bravery and wisdom, I had been known as his brash and strong-minded little sister. If there was no way, I made a way. My heart was made of fire, and I had a mind made of stone. No one could deter me from finding Ashitaka when I said I would find him.

The familiar wolf's voice seemed far away, but I heard him clearly, "_San, I told you she smells like him… Maybe he really is her brother._"

"You mean Ashitaka?" the woman named San asked curiously.

I felt my blood freeze over in ice at her words.

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A/N: Oh ho. I know, I've been bad, leaving you guys just there. This story's not very popular – I'm not surprised. But I like it and I'll take the route that'll make me do the best at writing this story. There's no sense in rushing. Anyway, thanks for those of you who support me. Your reviews and comments are well appreciated!

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_**Question of the Chapter**_

**Q: Who the most important person to you in the whole entire world?**

My Answer: That would be my best friend. He's always watched over me and saved me from some pretty damn tight situations. I can't thank him enough for sticking by me. But things are getting stretched between us, and we don't seem like the same as before of course. So if feels like losing a big chunk of me. I suppose that makes him the most important to me. So do you have anyone that makes you feel like that, or am I just entirely too sentimental?

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	4. Spirits

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_**-Whispers of the Forest-**_

_**Chapter 4**_

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Author: Kintora

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_**((Previously))**_

"_San," I heard the familiar voice of the wolf I met at the river, "She's not going to still." For some reason, a part of me was grateful that I knew at least one person… or beast in the room._

_The woman named San spoke, her voice evident in disapproval, "I know. We might as well ask what she's doing here."_

_I knew what I was doing before. I had a mission and I couldn't just lie around and play damsel. I'm not one of those dumb girls in those dumb romance stories I used to love hearing about. I struggled to collect my strength. I was going to get up whether they wanted me to or not – or whether my body wanted to or not. I was going to complete what I came all the way here for._

_I forced myself up and almost fell back if I hadn't caught myself. I gripped the cover to my chest as I sat, catching my breath. I squinted through the darkness of the cave. My voice rasped harshly to whoever would be listening, "I need… to find my brother." I winced and felt uselessly under the cover for my little leather pouch, "Please, I need his help. Let me go… Let me go find him."_

_I felt all their penetrating gazes on me and I felt even more naked. But I was standing firm. No one could deter me from finding Ashitaka._

_The familiar wolf's voice seemed far away, but I heard him clearly, "San, I told you she smells like him. Her resistance reminded me of him too."_

"_You mean Ashitaka?" the woman named San asked almost curiously._

_I felt my blood freeze over in ice at her words._

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"Where is he?" I asked, gaining more control over my voice by the second, "Please. Tell me where I can find him!"

San turned her deep, calculating gaze back to me. She studied me for a moment. But during that short moment, I felt a tight apprehensiveness build in my chest as my heart began to beat harshly. It felt as if I was not worthy enough to see my brother again. I wanted to see him again… so badly, but I was afraid that I was not good enough. I failed to keep the family together. I was ashamed of the events that happened after his departure and our parents' deaths.

The longer San looked at me, the more I believed that she would see right through me and assess me with all the secrets I had. Finally, she gave in, giving her wolf brothers a tired look, "If she's telling the truth, we'll have to let them meet again."

"_Girl_," the second wolf spoke, "_What is your name, so that we may relay it to Ashitaka?_"

I blinked, shocked like I had passed some unspoken test. "My name is Kaya. I'm from… I was from the Emishi tribe."

"_Was from?_" the first wolf questioned sharply.

My eyes threatened to water, but instead, I frowned, locking my gaze at the fur covers. I breathed, "It was destroyed, recently. Before the wise woman left her life behind, she told me to find Ashitaka. She wanted me to live so that I fulfill a certain destiny."

San placed a cool hand on my shoulder and pushed me back down onto the makeshift bed again. I could feel the commanding firmness in her gesture, yet there was a gentleness that she possessed. The assurance she emanated was a hard to ignore, and I was too exhausted to argue.

"Rest," San urged me again when I still fought to stay awake, "You will see Ashitaka soon."

"My friend," I croaked, "Kiba. Where is he?"

San opened her mouth, but the first wolf answered her before she could ask, "_The girl's elk. I heard her call him that._"

I saw a slight quirk grace the corner's of San's lips, "I see." She addressed me again. "Don't worry. Your elk friend is safe; we will not hurt him. You will see him again once you get better."

My eyes drifted shut as my body fell limp. I whispered a thank you to them as I shivered, letting the burning fever sap the strength from me again. I heard San tell one of her brothers to stay with me. The last thing I knew was a mass of white fur settling beside me, a warm heavy weight settle above my stomach as the wolf laid his silver snout against the covers. I heard him let out a deep sigh before I teetered back into oblivion.

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The instant I woke up, my hand instinctively shot for the machete I normally kept close beside me while I slept. It was lighter than my wakizashi, although it was less useful in actual combat. Still, it would do well for hacking a man's head clean off his shoulders.

That's right. A man. I woke up hearing a man's voice. Or at least I thought I did.

When I could not find the handle of my machete, my heart froze as if a cold finger had just glided down my spine, sprouting goose bumps all over my cold, damp skin. Questions flew through my mind in a jumble of nonsense. Where were my weapons? Where was I? Why was I here? How did I end up here? Meanwhile, my heart panicked, screaming danger and urging me to flee not fight.

My head spun painfully as I shot up, letting my fear rule my actions. But all was silent, and it was dark except for the moonlight pouring in from the opening through the cave's gapping mouth. Faintly, I recalled giant, talking wolves, a woman, and… my brother? I was telling them about Ashitaka. They knew him somehow.

And they said I would see him soon – but not now. I was afraid, and Ashitaka could not be there to take away my nightmares like he used to. I endured for so long without my protective, older brother. I had had to endure through _that_ nightmare without him there to save me.

My eyes were burning again, remembering that man's voice. It was not Ashitaka's. It did not belong to either of San's wolf brothers. No man from my home village had that voice, yet I knew whom it belonged to. If that son of demon was still alive, I will find him, hunt him down, and…and-

"_What's bothering you?_" a hushed growl rumbled beside me.

My body jolted violently as if struck by a bolt of hot, white lightning. I swallowed thickly, "N-nothing. I'm sorry I woke you."

There was a soft snort, as I felt his large silver tail thump heavily against the fur covers over my legs, "_Go back to sleep then._"

I was torn. I could not sleep now, though my body ached with fever and fatigue. It was then that I realized I was _afraid_ to go back to sleep and dream. Not while that man was still out there, ready to come after me again. I would never be able to sleep comfortably until I knew he was very, very dead.

"_Sleep_," came the gruff order again, this time the wolf reared his head up to look condescendingly down at me. When I did not move, a giant paw pushed me down none too gently.

"Hey!" I snapped hotly at him.

But he ignored me, lifting himself onto all four of his paws only to settle down on top of me. I balked, wondering if this beast was trying to kill me with his teeth or with his weight.

"_Relax, human_," he growled, his dark lip curling above his fangs, "_If I wanted to chew your face off, I would have done so already. You're cold and sick. Now sleep._"

With his big silver paws by either side of my head and his warm body flattening mine, I found it difficult to move. My breath was choppy and shallow as he lowered his head onto a paw resting by my face. With those sharp ears of his, he must have heard my heart racing, knowing I was scared. I heard him sigh, "_I smell tears. I'm not that terrible._"

If my throat closed any tighter, I did not believe I would remain breathing till morning. My voice came out thin, yet guarded, "It's not you."

He said nothing for a moment, probably sensing that I would not speak about the issue anymore. He did not seem like the type to pry about private matters. Suddenly, I felt his soft, white fur press against the side of my face as he turned slightly to speak to me, "_Ashitaka lives at a fortress village a few leagues from here. San, and my brother, Basho, are going to relay your presence to him. Your brother is due for a visit soon anyway."_

"Ashitaka…" I murmured softly, "Is he well?"

The wolf spoke, not quite as agitated as before, "_Last I saw of him, yes._"

I swallowed again and spoke, "He was forced to leave home, because of me. It was my fault… My friends and I – we were too slow. He had to turn back, and save us from a boar demon raiding our village seven years ago. In return for his bravery, he was cursed. I was afraid he had died, because of my idiocy to stand and fight when I knew I would lose."

The wolf's ears perked up towards my voice. He grunted, "_He is well. You'll see."_

"I'm glad," I smiled quietly, turning my face towards the wolf's warm fur, "I never caught your name, ookami-san."

He breathed gently, his pointed ears relaxing again, "_It's Shin._"

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When morning came, I followed routine and woke up just as the sun rose. Shin was still sleeping, his gentle snores oddly soothing as I listened to the sounds of early birds tweeting through the forest. My fever had broken over night, thanks to him. But I was still sick, and I knew it. Still, I couldn't stand sleeping the day away. I refused to stay in bed.

Now that dawn's basking light had cast a vermilion glow upon the awakening mountains, I could see the complete vastness of the forest if I turned my head to the side towards the jagged opening leading out to a stone ledge. Flocks of white birds looked like mere dots in the yellowing sky, and I wondered just how far away from home I was today.

Any other day on this journey, I would have been planning where I was going without caring about much else other than finding my brother. But thanks to Shin and his family, I was able to live another day despite my carelessness. The thought of losing my life in a river had never really crossed my mind. I had been more worried about rogues and thieves.

I looked at the mass of shimmering, white fur blinding the other side of the cave from me. My mind recounted the last conversation we had, and I knew I owed him.

I frowned irritably for my body was just itching to move after lying down for so long. Shifting slightly, I felt some slack under him. For a beast god his size, I estimated that he weighed almost twenty times more than me. I tried not to think about it. It's not like he was putting that much of his body weight on me in the first place. If he did, I really would be dead.

But it took some effort convincing myself that there was some way out from under him. It really wasn't as easy as I had hoped.

However, I was patient and gently eased my way up into a sitting position. All that was left were my legs trapped under the covers. But as I was easing my legs out from under him, his sharp amber eyes snapped open. It was still slightly dark so the light that caught in his eyes flashed a blue-white for a second before I could see him peering at me. There was a slight smirk on his face, though I have to say it reminded me of a grimace.

"_If you had wanted to get up, you only needed to ask_," Shin's baritone voice rumbled.

I stood slowly, crossing my arms over my bare chest, "I didn't want to wake you." I looked around, "Where are my clothes?"

"_Drying_," he answered, "_They might still be wet._"

"Thank you, but I'll take my chances," my eyes scanned the cave and spotted them airing out on a makeshift rack near the dead fire. Striding quickly towards them, I ignored the dampness and changed quickly. I let out a sigh of relief when I spotted the handmade pouch on the ground. Now I had to find Kiba.

Shin followed me as I walked towards the entrance of the cave opposite to the one facing the ledge. That brought me out towards a grassy passage surrounded by trees and stones that I did not recognize. There was a certain sense of quiet, even as the woodpeckers knocked away at the wood and other little lives buzzed away at their morning rituals. I wondered how far away San and Basho were now.

Shin walked past me, "_Your elk is nearby. Call him if you wish to. Then I will take you down to a stream._"

Call him? I blinked. I guess I shouldn't have been so surprised if he knew Ashitaka and Yakkul. After letting out a soft, tweeting whistle, I called gently for my friend, "Kiba?"

Almost immediately, some thick brushes farther up hill rustled and two pronged antlers pushed through the greenery, followed by he rest of my friend's large furry head and body. He was missing his saddle and reins, but I really could careless. He was okay, and that's all that mattered.

He cantered over to me, bumping my face with his as I laughed, stroking his orange fur before hugging him tightly around his thick, furry neck. I could feel burrs stuck in his mane, and made a mental note to groom them out later. Kiba gently nipped my hair and shoulder like he always did, and I felt another bubble of laughter erupted from me.

During our small reunion, Shin waited patiently as I struggled to mount Kiba normally. The fever had drained a lot of energy from me, but at least I did not need any help getting on his back. In companionable silence, Kiba followed Shin into he woods with me in tow.

Kiba slowed to a gentle trot so I could duck from lower hanging branches. It was taking a while to get to the spring so I laid forward on Kiba's back, gripping his mane to steady myself as he leapt agilely over the boulders of a dried up river. Shin lowered his pace for us to keep up with him. I coughed, shivering again despite the warm day.

"_We're almost there_," Shin told me.

The sound of gurgling water in the distance made me look up again as Shin led us into the clearing up ahead. There, a fresh spring flowed, perfect for quenching thirst. Shin dipped his silver head down and lapped at the cool water, and Kiba followed suit when we arrived just seconds later.

I slipped off my friend's back and kneeled by the spring to wash my face and take a drink. When I was done, I sat back, pulling my legs to my chest. Wrapping my cold arms around my knees, I waited. Kiba looked over at me before he trotted a few feet away to feed on some lemon grass growing by the roots of a tree.

Resting my feverish forehead against my legs I sighed before resting my cheek on top of my knees to look at Shin. He was still drinking when I spoke up, "Shin… Why did you save me?"

Shin stopped, his big white ears twitching, "_Are you ungrateful?_"

I frowned, "Please stop that. You know very well that I am grateful."

Shin ignored me as he went back to lapping at the water, the sun glistening over his shimmering back. I watched him a little longer before trying again, "If I am not mistaken, I get the feeling that you do not like humans very much. Yet San is like your sister, and you seem to respect Ashitaka as well. And now I owe my life to you…"

"_San __is__ my sister_," Shin growled, though I sensed no threat. He cocked his head at me, "_Ashitaka saved her. He helped save the forest, and for that, San loves him. As for you, if you did not smell so much like Ashitaka, I would have left you there to drown._"

I remained unfazed, only lifting an eyebrow at him, "So it was you who was following us. At least you weren't a human man watching me bathe in the rain."

Shin regarded me with a questioning glare, but I was too busy thinking to mind it. Ashitaka helped save this forest? Just what was going on here? This forest was already strange to begin with… as if it were alive in a different way than the forests back home. I wondered about all the things that could have happened to him during these years of separation.

Would he wonder about me too? I think he would, but I didn't know if I had the guts to tell him all of it. The destruction of our village and our parents' death would already be hard enough to speak of. What would I tell him if he asked about me? I could lie, but I hated lying to him. He always knew when I was being truthful or not, and I doubted that that would have changed over the years. Ashitaka was always the perceptive one.

"_He rarely speaks of his hometown_," Shin began slowly, "_Did something happen there?_"

I grinned bitterly, "As the last surviving members of the Emishi clan, it was forbidden to speak of our linage outside of the village. Five hundred years ago, the emperor thought he had wiped us all out. And now we actually are, five hundred years later. Those who leave the village are considered dead to those still living there. But there is no Emishi clan left, so I guess it's pointless keeping it all a secret."

"_But you escaped._"

"Just barely," I put a hand to my forehead, forcing back a headache, "And now I'm the only one left. I have nothing left except for my brother, who I vowed to find again the night he left."

The wolf god lifted his head up towards the sky and grumbled, "_And you are dressed like a boy because?_"

"It's the only way anyone in the outside world would take me seriously. Unfortunately, highly regarded women in human society like this Eboshi figure you speak of, are few to non existent," I dug a finger into the dark sandy dirt, drawing circles as I grumbled, "Men don't bother me as much when I'm dressed like a boy. Not if they fear losing an arm or two."

Shin came up beside me and nudged my shoulder with his wet, black nose, "_Come. We will head back now._"

The ride back to the cliff face was still a quiet one, but I tried to break some more ice between us, "Shin?"

His ears swiveled back towards me though he only continued on.

"Is it just the three of you living here?"

He paused, making Kiba halt just behind him, "_What makes you ask that?_"

I shrugged slightly, not quite sure myself, "I keep feeling as if this forest is different than any other. And I don't really understand why."

Shin stared hard at me. "_This forest was once the sacred dwelling of the forest spirit. Due to the humans' selfishness and stupidity, my mother, the great wolf god Moro, now rests with the forest spirit as life and death itself._"

As we continued on, I was able to get Shin to tell me most of what had taken place in the Western Forest. How humans under the command of Lady Eboshi and a greedy monk called Jigo, had slain the great deer god for his head. After chaos ensued with countless lives lost, and the guardians of the forest killed – the forest had somehow managed to survive. While humans still took the resources of the forest, they had learned to give back, replanting dozens of saplings in return for every old tree they chopped down.

Peace was still an uneasy truce between the humans and the forest, but life still went on. Shin would always despised the humans in his forest, and by the end of the tale, I couldn't help but develop some prejudice towards them too.

But something about our conversation stirred my memory, making me recall the strange message that the wise woman had told me before she died in my arms.

_Trust in the forest to protect you, and have faith in yourself._

If she meant exactly what she had said, then maybe she was speaking of the Forest Spirit. But what could he possibly do to help me? He was nothing more than the invisible, omnipresent spirit of life and death according to Shin's story. Unless he could somehow bring everyone from the village back to life and erase the Tora tribe, I doubted there was much else he could help me with.

The sun was high up over the towers of white clouds, spraying the land with strokes of white gold. The breezy summer winds lifted flower heads and rolled the tall green grasses in an endless array of lazy waves. By the time we reached the cave again, I could see the forest breathing with life under the blue sky. It seemed so… peaceful, yet I knew it had not always been so.

As we neared the cave entrance, Basho came out from beneath the shaded stone awning. The presence of the second wolf god meant he had met up with my brother already, and… My heart pounded heavily in my chest, and I feared that I would sicken all over again from the anxiety knotting up my stomach.

I was just dying to know if my brother was here, to see him for myself.

Basho nodded a wordless greeting at me, and turned back to look at the cave entrance. San emerged next, and beside her…

My brother looked barely a year or two older than the last I had seen him. His rich, dark eyes widened at the sight of me riding Kiba's back. My name fell from his lips, his soft, familiar voice bringing tears to my eyes.

"Kaya."

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A/N: It's 'only' been a little over a year since I last updated. Anyway, they finally meet, but now what? Kaya will have to talk to Ashitaka, but what is her secret and why doesn't she want to tell him? The next chapter will divulge all that. For now though: peace out. :)

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_**Question of the Chapter**_

**Q: What is your favorite drink?**

My Answer: Currently, I like Ramune or rum 'n coke. Mmm-mm, good.

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	5. Brother

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_**-Whispers of the Forest-**_

_**Chapter 5**_

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Author: Kintora

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_**((Previously))**_

_Peace was still an uneasy truce between the humans and the forest, but life still went on. Shin would always despise the humans in his forest, and by the end of the tale, I couldn't help but develop some prejudice towards them too. _

_But something about our conversation stirred my memory, making me recall the strange message that the wise woman had told me before she died in my arms._

**Trust in the forest to protect you, and have faith in yourself.**

_If she meant exactly what she had said, then maybe she was speaking of the Forest Spirit. But what could he possibly do to help me? He was nothing more than the invisible, omnipresent spirit of life and death according to Shin's story. Unless he could somehow bring everyone from the village back to life and erase the Tora tribe, I doubted there was much else he could help me with._

_The sun was high up over the towers of white clouds, spraying the land with strokes of white gold. The breezy summer winds lifted flower heads and rolled the tall green grasses in an endless array of lazy waves. By the time we reached the cave again, I could see the forest breathing with life under the blue sky. It seemed so… peaceful, yet I knew it had not always been so._

_As we neared the cave entrance, Basho came out from beneath the shaded stone awning. The presence of the second wolf god meant he had met up with my brother already, and… My heart pounded heavily in my chest, and I feared that I would sicken all over again from the anxiety knotting up my stomach. _

_I was just dying to know if my brother was here, to see him for myself._

_Basho nodded a wordless greeting at me, and turned back to look at the cave entrance. San emerged next, and beside her… _

_My brother looked barely a year or two older than the last I had seen him. His rich, dark eyes widened at the sight of me riding Kiba's back. My name fell from his lips, his soft, familiar voice bringing tears to my eyes._

"_Kaya."_

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"B-brother!" I gasped, suddenly finding it hard to say the word. It had been so many years since I last called him that.

Kiba brought me closer to the grassy cleft as Ashitaka leapt down from the cave's mouth. As I slipped off my friend's back, I fell into my brother's strong embrace, relishing our long overdue reunion. How long has it been? How long have I dreamed to hug my big brother again? It was almost too good to be true.

"Is it really you? I'm not dreaming?" I asked, burrowing my face against his shoulder, "You're really here!"

Ashitaka nodded, I could feel his cheek pressing against my hair. "Of course I am. I'm here Kaya."

I pulled away and looked up at him, "I thought you would have forgotten me." I grabbed his collar for support as my legs gave under me. Ashitaka helped me sit down.

"Have you forgotten our parting words?" He asked me as he patted my head softly, "'You know I could never forget you.' Remember now?"

My tears continued to fall even as I struggled to rein them in. Even after all these years, I still lacked the ability to hold the waterworks when I was with him.

"I do. But I was so alone after you left. After you and Yakkul left the village that night, it was like everyone else was leaving me too."

I watched my brother's face turn into a pensive frown. His hard, thoughtful look seemed so out of place in the serene wilderness. As he stared past my shoulder, it was like he was seeing something I couldn't see. When he looked back at me, it was hard to tell what he was thinking, besides the fact that he was perturbed.

"Kaya, I need you to tell me what is going on."

My mouth felt numb as my brain worked over time to think up some excuse to give him. But it was futile. Sooner or later, I would have to tell him about our parents, about our village, about our home… Eventually, I would have to tell him exactly what happened to me. But I wasn't ready.

Shin must have sensed the conflicting thoughts in me, for he growled quietly as he strode over to my side, "_Ashitaka. Your sister is still recovering. Perhaps it would be better if we went inside and saved questions for later._"

Ashitaka nodded silently as he helped me up, but Basho and San were busy giving their wolf brother strange looks. Just as Ashitaka was leading me up to the cave, I heard Basho grunt smugly, "_I didn't think you had it in you to be so thoughtful._"

Shin snorted, and simply walked away. No doubt he was sick of babysitting me, I thought as I watched his glinting white fur disappear into the shadows of the forest beyond.

Earlier in the day, San and Basho had slipped into the shadows and out into the sunshine. I didn't know where they went, but I was grateful to have some alone time with Ashitaka. He was never the garrulous type, and that didn't change now. He spoke gently to me and filled me in on everything that had gone on in the past few years. I had already heard about the great Forest Spirit being slain by human hands, but I hadn't heard much about this Iron Town that he now lived in.

I sure as hell didn't want to go there though, that's for sure.

It made me a little anxious hearing about the people's deeds and I just simply couldn't put my heart into forgiving them. Despite that all being in the past, I just… I grew up in a small village that shared land, air, and water with the local spirits. We were raised to respect and cherish both worlds.

I am sure Ashitaka would attest to the same morals. So why he wanted to live in a wretched town like that had me bewildered.

However, that's not where my bewilderment stopped. What also surprised me was that Ashitaka had chosen his bride. Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised me, as he was a good-looking young man and was of marriageable age when he left seven years ago. As he slowly broke the news to me, I couldn't help but feel like something itchy was growing in the pit of my heart.

Annoyance? Anger?

As he continued, I found myself unable to hold his gaze more and more. I would subconsciously turn my eyes away to look somewhere else – a crack in the great stone walls, the feathery dust rising from the ground, fingers of sunlight in the glittering air…

Was I jealous?

I was. I had my brother all to myself while we grew up. He was _my_ brother. Maybe some part of me had wished that once I found him, things would go back to normal. We would be closest as always and nothing would change. We had always been first in each other's lives, until now. Now the one who was first in his life was…

"Kaya," Ashitaka smiled at me, "Are you listening?" I frowned, breaking out of my thoughts.

"I am." Maybe I spoke more gruffly than I meant.

Ashitaka gave me one of his querying looks before shrugging. "I know things have changed much these years we were apart. I was just curious about what you thought of San."

Perhaps I had not been listening to him as closely as I thought I had been.

"San and her brothers saved me. I owe my life to them," I answered slowly, not liking where this was going. Things that I had missed were suddenly beginning to make sense.

Ashitaka observed my pensive face quietly, and that was how I understood without having to hear him tell me.

"You mean…" I gaped slightly, "You and San are…?"

"Yes," my brother replied.

How could such a simple answer be so heartbreaking? The itchy feeling in my exploded into a thousand needles, and I found myself struggling to maintain my composure. I tried to smile, but I couldn't make the corners reach my eyes. I suppose I could learn to accept San in that way. If his lover were any other girl, I would have had a harder time.

"I'm happy for you, brother," I told him simply.

If he noticed anything off with me, Ashitaka showed no sign of it. Instead, he nodded and smiled at me. The next question out of his mouth threw me for a loop though.

"Did you find someone who would take you as his bride?"

I felt myself stiffen, and the flatness in my stare probably gave me away.

"Not at all," I thought for a moment, "I do not want to marry."

Ashitaka didn't push me. He only gave me another quiet, measuring look before he fired off my questions that veered far from the topics of our hometown and my love life.

The day passed slowly and uneventfully by the time evening approached. The sky had not yet turned red, but the orange was seeping in from the west and the night's black cloak bordered the fringe of mountains to the east. At least there were two or so more hours of sunlight before darkness would take over.

Even though I spent nearly a whole day with my brother, we did little more than talk about his life in Iron Town and other things of little matter to me. While it was interesting learning about what he was doing and the people he had befriended over the years, it did little to take my mind off my worries. When would it ever be the right time to drop the bomb?

Of course, my whole journey west had been focused solely on finding Ashitaka. I never really thought of what to do beyond that – what I'd say to him. Maybe when I ran away on that dark, frightening night, I believed I could bring my brother back to help.

But it has been a few months since then... there was probably nothing to save. And if I knew my people well, most would have already perished. Other stragglers like myself had probably fled and were scattered everywhere. I had little faith that they would go back any time soon.

I found myself unable to stomach any food that night and opted to go for a short walk, claiming I was still a little sick and needed some fresh air. As the sun began to set, I found myself at a cliff. Standing there and just listening to the nightlife of the forest reminded me of the evenings I had spent on my journey with only Kiba as company. But as much as I enjoyed the peace, it did little to sooth my troubled heart.

Everything I learned that day was more or less hanging down on me, especially the part about Ashitaka having found his soul mate. It's not that I didn't like San. I didn't know her well, but I knew that she was a truly admirable person. What she shared with my brother was real. So I knew that in time, I would end up liking San very much.

I guess what hurt me the most was the crystal dagger I gave my brother. I thought he'd be the one to wear it, forever and always as a sentiment I left for him only. It was my way of protecting him. But that night as we all sat down for dinner, the firelight danced across San's chest and flickered off the purple crystal, catching my eye. My face froze, and it took me a few moments to shake off the paralyzing shock.

It was the last proof I needed to see to know that Ashitaka had truly left his Emishi life behind him. And somehow, I had also felt cast away too. My beloved trinket now belonged to a woman I hardly knew. The worst part was... I couldn't hate her. I could never hate her.

It took all my willpower right then and there to excuse myself without appearing immensely troubled.

The sun's dying light lit the over hanging clouds, lining them with gold and auburn. The sky was turning to a dusky purple red that spanned magnificently over the forests and mountains. It was beautiful, and terrifying all the same. Like blood.

"_It's not safe staying outside after sundown._"

I closed my eyes and let my head drop, hiding the tears that had suddenly sprung to my eyes. "I know."

Shin prowled silently so that he stood next to me, facing the setting sun. I turned my head to the opposite side so it was impossible for him to see my face. He sighed gruffly, "_It's no use hiding. I can smell your tears, remember?_"

"Wonderful," I said, though the sarcasm sounded weak even to me.

"_Did you fight with Ashitaka?_"

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "No. It was great talking to him again. I never really thought I'd actually find him, much less see him again."

"_So what's wrong?_" Shin asked as he settled down beside me. I took that as an invitation, so I sat down as well.

"I guess I wasn't expecting things to change," I muttered, rubbing harshly at the stains on my face, "He was always the closest person to me. Even when everyone else left me, I still believed... you know. I still had him."

Shin's ears flicked. "_You still have him. That hasn't changed. He will always be your brother._"

"It's different now. He has San. He's forgotten me," I said, thinking of the crystal dagger I had once cherished.

"_Is that what has been bothering you? I thought it was your village you were worried about._"

"It's everything," I shook my head, "I hate change. And hate the distance between us. It's as if I felt closer to him when we were apart than now."

Shin was silent for a while after, and I wondered if he had dozed off. It was then that I felt ashamed for complaining so much.

"I'm sorry, Shin. I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I am really glad to know that my brother is alive and well. And I am glad that he met San. I guess most of my feelings are just irrational."

"_You needn't apologize_," Shin grumbled, "_I feel the same way when it comes to San._"

I turned to face him, the final rays of sunlight made his farseeing eyes glow like kindling embers. My surprise must have prompted him to continue.

"_I can still remember San as a helpless, little baby, as if that memory was just yesterday. And now she's a fearless warrior with a man at her side. She doesn't need our help to survive anymore." _He let a soft sigh,_ "Basho still stays with her all the time, but I've learned to give San her space._"

I drew my knees up to chest and rested my head on top of them. So I wasn't alone. Although I sensed his sadness, I was a little glad we had some common ground. "The hurt doesn't go away, does it?" I asked quietly.

"_No_," Shin said, "_But neither do the memories you share. Accept the change, Kaya. It's only wise to do so._"

My snapped up as I looked at him again, "You said my name."

"_Would you like it if I resumed calling you 'human'?_" he growled in annoyance.

I smiled, "Of course not." Shin's ear flicked again in the darkness. And though I couldn't really see them, I knew he rolled his eyes at me.

"_Get on my back, human,_" Shin said, "_I don't want to fish you out of the river again._"

It was my turn to roll my eyes as I did what I was told.

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A/N: Hey guys, I'm glad that you are all enjoying this story so far. I actually got a suggestion or two from some reviewers, regarding the plot of my story. While it's sweet that you like it enough to think up alternative plot lines, I can't do what you suggest. I've already got the whole thing planned out. But thank you for contributing your thoughts.

I also got an interesting take on Ashitaka and Kaya's relationship in the movie. A reviewer told me that **Kaya was actually Ashitaka's intended bride**, so I tried to dig up any information supporting that.

There wasn't much I could find online. And in the movie, Kaya always calls Ashitaka, "Ani-sama" – the old-fashioned form of "Oni-sama" which is a respectful way to say "big brother." Hence I've always seen them as real siblings. They even look alike! Anyway, I won't/can't change their relationship in this story. But if anyone knows anything, I'm still interested to sate my curiosity. Thanks!

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_**Question of the Chapter**_

**Q: What is the number one thing on your wish list right now?**

My Answer: I really, REALLY want the Radical Dreamers music box. I've been after the thing for over 3 years now.

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